That feeling when you want to move on but you’re afraid to. You’re afraid that you’ll regret your decision. You’re afraid that you leave something good behind.
Regret and guilt is what stops you from leaving the past behind. Desire to mend things. Atone for your sins. Gain forgiveness. Leaves you in a fix. Wanting to move on but too afraid to.
Waiting even though you know nothing will come out of it. It’s like waiting for rain in the desert. You keep hoping that one day a miracle will happening. A cloud will form overhead and rain will start falling from above.
Holding on to that tinge of hope. But deep down inside you already know the answer – it’s not going to happen.
You just don’t want to face it. Have the hard truth said in your face. You want leave in denial and let everything slowly fade away. Instead of getting brutally crushed by the truth.
When you prefer a “slow recovery to wholeness” instead of an “instant death and getting reborn again”.
Still clueless. Not knowing what to do. You just keep waiting. Waiting for a clear answer. Waiting for a sign. Waiting for a miracle.
You’re not sure.
You just wait. For something to happen.