Fantasy – just a dream

Half past five in the morning. Yet to sleep. Not exactly tired. So I decide to pen down (or type out) my thoughts. Here is to that one guy who has not given up on me.

Must say he has quite some perseverance. I am not an easy girl to handle. One second. I let you in. The next. I push you away. Insecurities. He never really got to see the true me. The real me.

Rejected once. Rejected twice. One too many times I lost count. Yet each time he replies saying he is cool being just friends. Close friends.

Having to put up with all my emotional hurt and insecurities. One moment I am happy and fine. The next. I swing into depression and get all moody. Not to mention my bad temper. Each time I get angry. He apologises first. Even though. Sometimes it is not his fault.

The dreamer. So optimistic that true love exists. Constantly pointing out the sweet old couples and their fairytale like love story. Believing that there is someone out there that is truly meant for him. Childish to some. But sometimes you need this little bit of hope to make it through life. Keep you going.

Cheeky little guy. Who injects life and fun in all he does. Goes overboard at times. But it is okay. You need people like this to brighten up your day. Add some colour to your life. This is gonna sound cheesy. But he has been my sunshine in the rain. The rainbow that gives me hope. And the umbrella that shelters me from the rain. (Probably too tired that is why I am not thinking straight.)

Yet understanding at times. Putting himself in my shoes. Giving in to me because he knows the emotional torture and hurt I face almost every other day. Patiently listen to me complain and get emotional when I talk about my past. Trust me. It hurts when you listen to the one you love talk about their ex.

Just a tad too caring. Constantly worrying if I am upset or will do stupid things. Checking every now and then to make sure I am safe. Calling me when he knows I need someone there for me. These small things. Not much. But they go a long way.

And then I start to fantasise. What if. Could it happen. Is it possible. Perhaps. Maybe. Should I.

I dream. I hope. I love. I understand. I care.

Then reality hits. No. It cannot work out. Just too bad. Opportunity lost like that. Because I realised it is not meant to be. Cannot give you want to want. Sorry.

All these will just wind up as a dream and fantasy.

Perhaps what they say is true.


What happened to happily ever afters?


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