Have you ever wondered if your future is already planned out for you. They say things happen for a reason. I believe it is true. Sometimes things do not always go as planned. Slowly but surely. I begin to discover why things happened the way they did.
Probably going to sound somewhat creepy or something. But somehow every time I want to do that one particular thing. Something crops up and stops me from doing so. Not once. not twice. Perhaps thrice. Or maybe even more. No idea why. Same scenario. Each time. I am glad I did not get a chance to do it. I think I understand why now. Stopped before I sink in deeper. Thank God.
Probably had one of the most interesting conversation with a random stranger today. Maybe it was not all that random. Some NTU student approached me. She was doing a survey. Did not really mind since I had time so I went ahead with it. Cut the long story short. It was about youth and our habits. She asked quite a few questions. Probably one of the longest survey I ever took. She got lucky. I am in a relatively good mood today.
How long do you spend on the Internet. How long do you watch the television. What do you want to be when you grow up. What are your passions. Cliche questions. But she seemed particularly surprised at how I answered the following few.
How do you define success.
Success. How happy you are. To me. Grades do not really matter. Though I do get really stressed up when I do not do well. Or perhaps at the thought of being unprepared for my exams. I guess, over the years, I have been forcing and training myself to think that grades are all that matters because that much is expected out of me. But truthfully. I do not really desire to have good grades. It’s more of a bonus. Good to have. Not must to have. I do not really see the point in studying so hard everyday just so you can get all the As. Perhaps that is why I seem so slack and indifferent about my academics. I believe in doing just enough. Enough to get you to where you want. Or leave you enough options if you are unsure of what you want. I mean. Surely there is more to life than studying. Life is too short to be wasted solely on studying.
What do you think makes you happy.
Happiness. To me. Is when I spend time with people I really care for. Honestly. I am not into technology. Call me a caveman if you must. But I must admit. I am kind of a phone addict too. The irony. But here is the catch. I use my phone mainly for communication purposes. So. In some sense. I am having healthy interactions with fellow human beings. That sounded odd. But I think you get my drift. Then again. Ignore what I said. I am just justifying my actions. Again. But truthfully. Why waste precious time on some dead thing when you can spend it with people. I think you can guess by now. I have extremely people orientated. But it is cool. I like it that way. Generally. Being around people makes me happy. Being there for them when they need me brings me joy.
The mini survey evolved into a conversation. Rather deep conversation about personal outlook and beliefs. She mentioned that she was glad to have met me. Apparently most youths she surveyed seemed to have no goals in life and could not really care much about things. I do not know how true that is but I will take her word for it. I am glad I could make a difference in her life. Even if it is just a wee bit. Perhaps giving her something to ponder about. Felt great. Telling someone how I truly felt. Being able to voice my true opinions. And not give some politically correct answer.
On a side note. I think it is quite interesting how I can be so open to some random stranger. Probably because I know I will never bump into him or her again so whether he or she feels will not affect me. Do not really know how to put it. Guess anonymity does help make people feel more comfortable and all. Just like how I don’t mind blogging about very personal things because no one knows who I am. I hope.
I cannot really remember what else she asked. Or what I said. I have a really bad memory. If you know me you will agree. I have a memory of a goldfish. Not even kidding. I forget things I say just a few minutes ago. I guess it is kind of a good thing. Having your memory refreshed every few minutes.
On second thought. It is not all that a good thing. Because usually memories you want to erase stay. Those that you want to keep goes away. Sigh. I can only remember snippets of all the good things but I can remember all the bad things. Why.
That aside. The NTU girl brought a friend along. Initially thought she was doing the project with her. Only to find out. Later. She was a church friend. She stuttered when she talked and was rather incoherent at times. Seemed as though she is a bit slow or has speaking difficulties. Sorry if that came out a bit direct. Not judging her. I think it is perfectly fine.
After the interview. She asked if she could ask me a philosophical question. Just so she could broaden her perspective on things. I was really curious. I really would like to hear what she had to say. She seems like someone who is worth knowing more about. Not that others are not worth it. But she seems really interesting. Different. I will say. Unique. In a good way. I think I am beginning to sound like some creep. Who examines people. Ops. I just like meeting people and getting to know then on a personal level. Reasons why my life has so much drama.
Anyway. I gave her the green light. She asked. Since life is so short. Do you find life empty. Did not really get what she meant so I asked her to define empty. She elaborated saying that perhaps life could be meaningless or sad. Her question did not really make sense as a whole. Nonetheless I replied the second part of the question.
I said. No. You just have to find joy in the simplest things in life. For me. I tend to take a lot of things for granted. Overlook the simple things people do for me. That is why my goal for the next few years is to be more appreciative and thankful for what I have. I have a habit of writing down one thing I want to thank God for and paste it on some cork board at home. Do that everyday. At least trying to. So when I am sad. I will take the board out and read through everything. Remind myself about the little things I have that I should be thankful for.
They were taken back. Seemed pretty encouraged.
I continued. Someone once told me life is about perspective. It is only as good or as bad as you make it. If you keep thinking that there is a problem. You are never going to be happy. Sometimes you need to take a step back. And enjoy the simple things in life.
The NTU girl is pretty sharp. She caught me saying “thank God” and asked me if I was a Christian. Then we had the usual which church do you attend conversation. She asked if I was very involved. Unfortunately not. Since JC started. My life changed quite a bit. Questioning things. Lack of time. Busy. Basically I backslid. And still am sinking further. Trying to sort things out though. Sigh.
The other girl interrupted saying she backslid during JC too. But she picked herself up and is currently doing well in her faith. Mentioned that she followed her friend because she wants to meet new people. Overcome her fear of approaching people and talking to them. A breakthrough was what she wanted.
That was really inspiring. To me. At least. I was never and still am not the kind who would willingly and daringly face my fears. More of the passive kind. Wait and see what happens. Hoping that some how magically. Pop. The fear goes away. Who am I kidding. Probably should learn from her.
I cannot really remember what happened after that. But I think something special. Perhaps magical happened there and then. I think we were both blessed by what the other party said. Well. At least I was really blessed.
Sometimes. It makes me wonder. If the people we meet are not by coincidence. Perhaps it is all planned out by God. Teaching you the right things at the right time. Imparting values. New outlooks. Inspiring testimonies. Maybe. Just maybe. Everything that happens is not by chance.
I am beginning to think that it is true. That aside. I must say I am really blessed today. Have not had such a meaningful and insightful conversation for quite a long time.
Thoroughly enjoyed my day. Had a great time meeting my old friends and catching up with them. Nice heart to heart talks. Thought my life was drama. And that it cannot get worse than this. But no. Got proven wrong by a close friend of mine. Wait till you hear his story.
Also. Really really happy because my peach tarts turned out well. Pretty little things. Finally baking again. Has been quite a while. And I have never baked tarts before. Give me some credit. Perhaps an A for effort. I think it tasted a little blend but others said it was fine. Got an average of seven out of ten. So not bad. Not bad at all. Considering quitting school and starting some cafe. What are the chances. Better stop dreaming and do more studying.
Here are my pretty tarts. Trust me. They taste as good as they look.
Feels great being happy. Have not felt this lighthearted in quite a while. Though it is somewhat temporal. I shall enjoy it while it lasts. Here is to a even better week ahead.