Qualities – good to have

Guys always complain that girls can be so contradicting and confusing at times. One moment we say A. The next we say B. So you guys are often left clueless.

Well actually the truth is. We girls never really know what we want. Sorry guys. Majority of our feelings are based on feelings. Oh. We FEEL like going shopping. We FEEL like picking a fight. We FEEL like being nice. And we know how volatile feelings can be.

Honestly. Sometimes I find myself getting angry at nothing. And I just want to pick fights. Then other times. I can be so nice and sweet because I just feel like being that way. Bipolar.

Since promos are over and I have nothing better to do with my life. I thought it will be nice if I took some time out to write down the qualities I wish to see in my other half. Will be quite funny when I look back at this post years down the road. For memory sake.

10 things I hope my other half will have (in no particular order):

1. He must be a man after God’s heart.
I am a Christian. Will not say I am all that holy. In fact I am pretty wild. But I think it is necessary to have the same core beliefs. And precisely because I am that wild. I guess I need someone who is a bit more down to earth to put me back on the right track when I go off course. A little reminder will be nice. And I really hope that he will help me on my journey to fulfill God’s plan for me.

2. He must be someone who I can be absolutely comfortable with.
Though I seem extremely sociable (well at least that is what my friends tell me), I do not really open up to many people. There is a fine line between being friendly and talking about who you are on the inside. Do not get me wrong. I do not put up a facade. Being friendly is who I am. Just that there is a limit to how close I will get to different individuals. Therefore, I will really like my other half to be someone who can be entirely open with. No lies. No hiding. Just me. I must say it is quite a feat if he can tolerate and accept me for who I am. I am quite a hand full.

3. His reasons for liking me cannot be “because you understand me”.
This is going to sound pretty unconventional because everyone wants to find someone who understands them. But that alone is not good enough for me. Correction. If any guy says that to me. Sorry. Bye bye. Friend-zoned. Why. Because I just have a gift to understand people. Perhaps God-give. Believe me or not. Give me a few days of interaction with anyone. Be it on the phone. Or face to face. I can give you a detailed breakdown of who the person is and what he or she believes in. That is why everyone always thinks I am so understanding. Having said that. Part of the reason why I understand is because I bother putting in the effort to spend more time with the person and find out more. So to those few people who are exceptionally close to me – that is the reason why I know you all so well. Because I want to.

4. He cannot be less man than I am.
Do not laugh. And do not judge. I just cannot stand guys who are more feminine then I am. Do not get me wrong. I think feminine guys are super cute. Not even kidding. Have friends like that. They make really good girl friends. But my other half? Maybe not. I am already so manly (at least I think I am). I do not scream at cockroaches. I somewhat like the dirt. I do not exactly sit with my legs crossed sometimes. Not the typical kind of demure girl. So I do not want a guy who is any less manly then I am. Will feel like I am dating a girl.

5. He must be taller than me.
If you are thinking security is the reason. No it is not. I just like taller guys. Preferably thirteen centimeters taller than me. Just in case you do not know the best height difference between a guy and a girl is thirteen centimeters. Because I want to rest my head on their chests or shoulders. Just a weird fetish. It is nice to lean down on something and sleep on long bus rides. Like a pillow.

6. He cannot be too showy.
I do not really like guys who stand in the middle of orchard road and tells everyone I am his girl friend. I prefer a more quiet kind of guy. Whatever happens between me and him should be kept between the both of us. Absolute no to the guy who tells the whole world what happened when we quarrel. There is a difference between telling those who ask. And announcing to the whole world without them questioning. Get that right. I like privacy. And perhaps secrecy. I just feel that when too many people know of the relationship. The couple will receive too much attention and scrutiny. That is when what others say about the relationship will start influencing the guy and the girl in the relationship. Mistrust and doubt. And everything goes downhill. That is why I prefer to keep things between the both of us and a few close friends.

7. He must be decisive.
I had enough of wishy washy guys who keep on telling me it is my choice. Hey. Just make up your mind. And bare the consequences. Many a times I find that guys refuse to make a decision because either ways the outcome is bad. Or rather not ideal. So it will be really nice to have a guy who decides. Make the best choice. Whatever happens after that leave it to later to decide. This applies to choosing places to eat. Such a pain when everyone says anything. I am very bad at making up my mind. So I most definitely need a guy who makes a choice and stands firm by it.

8. He must be mature.
I guess this is what all girls want in their guys but can never find on seventeen year old boys. But there are exceptions. I think everyone (not only guys) need to know what to do at the right time. Say. Study when you have to. And not just fool around even when exams are nearing. Get your priorities right. I particularly find guys who are able to separate work and personal issues appealing. When their girl friend quarrel with them, they do not sulk all day. But instead, do their work as normal and deal with their personal issues after work. I salute them.

9. He should be able to hold deep conversations with me.
I changed a lot from last year to this year. I begin to think more. To question more. I will really like someone whom I can share my various views with. And having him input his views into the conversation too. Like a discussion. Helps me grow as a person. And discover what I like. And what I do not. Gives me a broader perspective to things. I like thinking so having someone to evoke and provoke thoughts will be pretty nice.

10. He cannot, must not and should not be clingy.
There is a difference between showing concern and care and getting too over attached. I need my space and time to myself. I would really like someone who will trust me and let me have my own share of freedom. Knowing that I will not go overboard or cross the line. Having said that I still need care and concern once in a while. Basically I just need a guy who does things at the right time. That goes back to the point about knowing me well. And that takes time.

So there it is. 10 things I would like my other half to have. Well then again. If I really like him. I guess I can close an eye (or maybe both) if he does not meet some of the requirements. Oh last point. I am a person who treasures quality time. So I guess it will be great to have someone who is willing to take time out for me despite his busy schedule. Everyone is busy. Whether or not you are willing to take time out for someone shows how much they mean to you.

I guess there really are no hard and fast rules or requirements. If you like someone you just do. No reasons. No questions.

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