Had a great talk with xiao di today during economics lecture. Was complaining on and on and on about how much I hate taking the initiative to call a friend out for a talk to solve problems. Firstly, because I am more of a passive person when it comes to such situations. I tend to let my fears take over and choose to ignore everything. Secondly, because I am always the one taking the initiative. Everyone expects me to do something about the situation first. Start the conversation and save the day. When will it be the other party’s turn?
But his reply made me realise how important it is to take the initiative. Everyone has the tendency to remain passive. Thinking to themselves – why must I be the one doing it. We are merely waiting for the other party to speak first. We feel that is unfair for us to initiate because we too are victims of the situation. But someone has to give in.
If the relationship is worth it. No harm giving it and speaking up first. It just means that the relationship is more important than your ego. Would it not be a foolish thing to do – lose a friend because of your reluctance to forgo your ego and speak to them first.
Sure it gets tiring but if they mean that much to you why not. Why let something go when you could have doing something to salvage the situation. It is not worth letting something so valuable go.
And half of the time you will realise that the other party has been wanting to talk to you. Clear the air. Just that no one was willing to take the initiative.
Things are not always as bad as it seems. We are only deluding ourselves so that we have an excuse for remaining passive.
I guess it is time we should get out of that comfort zone and take the risk. What is there to lose. Getting rejected is nothing compared to living a life time full of guilt. Even if things do not turn out as expected. At least you have some closure. Better than having to constantly look back, wondering what if and what could have been.
I am happy with the choices I made. I grew up. Faced my fears and took the initiative. Though things, for now, are not exactly the same as they used to be. At least I have one less thing off my bucket list.
When you are at your lowest. Things can only go up from there. Here is to a better week ahead.