I am so fortunate to be me. And I do not see it. If you think about it, all my relationship problems and depression is nothing as compared to what others are facing.
Hunger. Shelter. Poverty. Security. Bread and butter. Life and death.
There is so many people out there who cannot even meet their basic needs. And here I am worrying about what I am doing with my life.
I was out today climbing stairs at some relatively old HDB block. Have no choice since I do not want to suffer during my trekking trip. What did I sign up for. 先苦后甜. On way way to losing weight. If I do not, I am going to get a refund. Just joking. Thought it will be nice to get my health back to how it was two years ago. This trip will be a nice motivation for me.
That aside. There I was dying while running up twelve floors and then taking the lift down. Not because I am lazy but it is advised not to take the stairs down because I might injure myself. Cannot really remember the reason why. Go check out it online. Read it somewhere.
And each time I reached the void deck. I took a one to two minute break and observed the people around me.
There a saw an Indian family. A couple and a kid. Guess they are taking a stroll. But they stopped over at the trash corner. Not the rubbish shoot but the wired containers installed in discrete corners of the void deck. People dispose their old furniture or unwanted items there. The wife walked over to a relatively new wooden cabinet and mumbled something to her husband. She was speaking Tamil so I had no idea what she was talking about. But from her mannerism, it seemed as though she was asking her husband if it will be a wise for them to bring the cabinet back home. The deliberated for a while and left soon after. So I am guess the husband said no.
Then on my fourth trip down. There was an old lady. Likewise. She approached that pile of junk. And examined the things there. Picking up a few items that she thought would be of value to her. Not long after, she placed them back to where she found them and figured it was not as valuable as she thought they would be. She carefully made her way to the stone table and chairs and sat down. Following that, she packed her bag and took out some food packed in the typical white styrofoam box. I am guessing that was her dinner. I wanted to talk to her. Ask her why is she eating alone. But I decided to go for my last set first.
Unfortunately for me, by the time I completed it and went down, she was standing right in front the lift, all prepared to go home. Though I was pretty upset that I did not have a chance to talk to her, I was comforted that at least she has somewhere to go back to.
I guess these people are not really the worse of worse around but they made me realise how fortunate I am.
Food – check. Shelter – check. Pocket money – check. Clothes – check. Security – check.
In fact I have more than what I need. Too much clothes. Too much food. Too much random things. Whatever I have is definitely more than what an average human being needs. And I find myself asking for more. Dad, can I have a yoga mat. Mum, can I have money to shop. What am I doing.
Admittedly, my parents do spoil me. Probably because I am the eldest. They have given me almost everything I want upon request. Now that I look at it. Disgusted. I can do without so many things. In fact. I do not use half of the clothes I bought. I have not shopped for the last two years. Probably spent more money on food than anything now. But it really disgusts me. How I can spend ten to twenty bucks at a restaurant or cafe when I can opt for a five dollar meal at the hawker centre. How I can skip tuition, which is about a hundred bucks per lesson, just because I want to go out with my friends. How am I capable of doing all this despite knowing that some people cannot even afford tuition or do not even have money to buy food. I have been using money so freely as if it falls from the sky.
Money. Just a piece of paper to the middle income people. But to the poor it is life and death. My pricy ten dollar meal at cafés can feed a family somewhere in India for a week. I need to stop my spend thrift behaviour.
It is back to hawker centre food. Do not want to waste my parents hard earned money. Even if I want to spent it, I could spend it by donating to charities.
From now on, if any vulgarity comes out of this foul mouth of mine, I will donate fifty cents to charity. Not being stingy but I really do punctuate my sentences with a lot of vulgarities so anymore than fifty cents I will have no money for food. There you have it. A perfect plan – cut down on my vulgarities and start spending money wisely. Kill two birds with one stone.
Here is to a more thrifty and less vulgar weekend.