Being analytical and and observant. My forte. But it can also be my short coming. Too quick to judge. Too fast to conclude.
It is true I hate him. And I really disagree with the way he coaches us. Yes I do think he goes overboard and is extremely childish.
But what I experienced today. Changed my perception of him.
He really does sacrifice a lot for our team. I honestly think his studies are giving way because he has to coach us.
Yes we may think that he does it for pride or dignity. So that he can proudly say that he is our coach. But the truth is. There is nothing much to be proud of. In the arena, he is no heavy weight. Good player perhaps but not one that others look up to or respect. He is pretty much like you and me but has more experience.
He takes time to coach us. For a merger pay, which he maxed out. So now, every time he coaches us. It is entirely out of his own will and passion for frisbee.
I guess I never knew, not until today. That he has to work part time jobs else where to support himself. No wonder he is always tired and barely has time to study.
And yet none of us saw the amount of sacrifice he made for us. Better yet, people, like me, are forever complaining about how much we hate training and the way he manages the team.
Granted, he is a terrible leader who has no idea how to manage team dynamics. Neither is he a fantastic coach because he fails to set the tone right. And yes, he is very harsh and direct, making you feel inadequate.
Those are all true. But perhaps we should stop being so harsh on him. He is still trying to figure out his own style of teaching and leading. No one is perfect.
I am extremely ashamed of myself. Admittedly, he can be unreasonable and hot-tempered. But he has sacrificed a lot for us. And all I do is complain and find fault in him. The least I should do is shut up and train well.
No doubt I am a failed exco member. And honestly our exco is hopeless. Not criticising anyone but the exco as a whole, myself included. We cannot even carry out simple tasks that are given to us. All talk no action. And we want to lead a team? What were we thinking?
Maybe instead of criticising and getting angry at him for flaring up at us, should we not reflect on our performance? If I were him, I would be pissed off too.
Simple things like planning. All we need is one or two weeks to settle everything. Do we always have to wait until he flares up or wait until time runs out before we take action? I really do not get it.
I ask myself – why are you so afraid of stepping up? I do not really know what the heads are doing but someone eventually has to do something. If they remain inactive, then someone else will have to take the initiative. Why am I not taking the initiative to do so? Because I feel like I am not in any position to say or do anything. Likewise all the other exco members are waiting around. Waiting for the heads to take the lead. And it is this inactive behaviour that causes us to be so ineffective.
Just at this moment, as I am typing this, I am reminded of what a friend said to me when I was running for exco – do not feel like someone else is better suited for this position. If no one else ran for this position, that makes you the most adequate person for this position.
The story behind that is that no one else in my team ran for that position. Moreover, I did not feel like I was up to it because my senior before me has set the standard extremely high. And I knew I can never reach or come close to what he achieved. Therefore, I felt like I could never live up to expectations. But the matter of fact is that, if no one else wanted it and I did, does that not make me the best candidate for the job?
Likewise, if no one steps up, and I am willing to, I should just go ahead and say what I want to say. And do what I want to do. It is not a power struggle. But a time to rise up and make a change.
I am not here to step over anyone’s authority. With due respect, you all are the heads, you have the final say. I just feel like it is about time someone starts doing some concrete work and get things done. If not we will always be stuck in this awkward situation and no one is happy. Time to get things over and done with.
I am going to do something about it. Whatever happens next, cross my fingers and pray for the best.
Disclaimer. I still do not like him as a person. But as a coach I think he deserves respect and effort from the team. The least we can do is to be serious, train well and get the job done.