And I thought it will never ever affect me again. I thought I was fine, that it will not crush me. I was wrong. The day went fine for quite a while until I had time alone to myself and it was all quiet. Hate those times of the day because I end up thinking so much. Then my heart sank a little. Just a little too much that I got all emotional again. Finally, after so long I had the urge to cry. I have been crying over other things and maybe due to stress but not because of you, well at least, not for a very long time.
As usual, I tried to grid my teeth and take my mind off it. It worked for a while when I was watching some reality shows. But I quiet down and attempted to study, endless thoughts about you started filling my mind. How am I ever going to concentrate on my studies.
Gradually, things got worse so I decided to cook. Dish for the day – pasta aglio olio with pan fried salmon. Virgin attempt at making this dish and here it is.
The salmon was way undercooked and the skin stuck on the pan but I ate it anyway. (Assuming this kind of salmon can be eaten raw too.) As for the pasta the garnishing was good but somehow the pasta itself was so tasteless. I probably did not add enough salt. On a side note, I want to try making my own pasta! Not the dish but the noodles itself, that is if they can actually be classified as noodles.
Anyway, I cook when I am upset. I rather spend my time and energy cooking something nice for myself to make me happy rather than sit around and sulk all day. It help me get my mind off things.
Somehow, cooking is very therapeutic for me. I suppose it is because it makes me feel better about myself. I guess you can say that cooking is probably the one of the very few things that I am good at. Though I screw up every now and then, my end products generally taste nice. Disclaimer – my food are edible not some five star hotel gourmet food. Still, I believe it helps me gain confidence of myself and is something that I am really proud off. If I had the money, I would not mind whipping up new dishes everyday. Just that well, I am broke. Only for now, I hope.
To sum up, it was really really heartbreaking day. And I pretty much wasted the bulk of it away sulking. But I am glad that I can escape into my own happy world once in a while.
I guess to end off. I will leave myself with a picture my friend sent me.
Cheers and goodnight. Hope tomorrow will be a better day.