Epitome – of sadness

No idea how you knew I was so upset. I did not think it was obvious through text but you saw right through it. Truth be told, sometimes I feel extremely troubled because of you.

Can you stop treating me so nicely? I do not like it when people treat me nice. Admittedly, it feels great to have someone care for you but I feel like I am in debt. After everything that as happened, you told me you never once got angry at me and all that you felt was sadness. How can anyone do so much for someone else? I do not get it.

I guess I am too hurt and too numb to everything that I simple do not wish to think or to care. And I suppose in life you should never ever get your hopes up because the more you hope for, the more disappointed you get.

Whatever. I feel like telling you to leave me alone so that I will not grow emotionally depended on you. But then again, I will end up losing a friend. Why is it so hard to detach yourself emotionally from things. I find myself a very needy person, especially when it comes to emotions.

Tired of feeling. Tired of crying. Tired of getting hurt over and over again. But who am I to wallow in self pity? I chose to do all this to myself, did I not? Just fuck me and fuck my life. Yet another night when I go to bed in tears.

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