Way – too familiar

Later today my dearest juniors will be collecting their much awaited O level results so all the best kiddos. I still remember how excited I was that day. I did not feel that worried because I knew I gave it my best shot and let the rest to God. I suppose part of me knew that I would not do too bad because I really did study very hard for the past two year leading to that examination.

Apart from the results, that day brings back loads of find memories of you and me. You should know how much that day means to be. Till this date, I still hold that day close to myself. I remember running all the way from my school to yours just to give you a big warm hug. Then calling your parents and screaming into the phone. I did not really care if they would judge me or tell me off. I just wanted to share the joy with them. Both of us worked hard for it and it most definitely feels great to have finish this journey on a high note. We did this together. If only I could turn the clock back to that very fateful day. Right now, I just feel like running up to you and scream I love you. Just want to relive that moment.

Enough of all the O level results (honestly it feels like it all happened years ago), back to my main point of the post. Surprised by the random text from you. Really did not expect to hear from you so soon but it is great to know that you are still alive and breathing. Had a great short light-hearted conversation with you. Can this year get any better?

Anyway, there is something about the timing of your texts or your return that I am very intrigued about. Why is it that every time he gets a tad closer to me, you will suddenly pop out from no where and sort of remind me you still exist. It feels almost as if I am prevented from getting too close to him. I do wonder if you time these texts or if it is just pure coincidence. But then again, it if is the latter, how is it possible that this happened about four to five times over the span of last year till now? Surely, there is something more to it.

Just feeling very puzzled and taken aback at how things turn out. This is a way too familiar situation. Someday, I would really like to know why this occurs over and over again. It does not make sense. I thought all this will go away when I decide leave everything behind me. Mind-blown.

Past 2am now and I should get some sleep. Long day ahead and I am feeling so awake now. This is bad and I am going to regret this tomorrow. Oh well, it is back to bed and I should probably learn how and when to stop thinking.

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