Sitting – on the fence

Days like these, I find my mind wondering off and thinking about you again. Not too much emotions involved in my thoughts, just recalling everything and giving what you said some serious thought. It really puzzles me sometimes, how some part of me always gives you another chance and how I am stupid enough to believe you over and over and over again.

Maybe everyone is right, I might just end up using him as a rebound. Perhaps it is true that I only see him as a good friend and nothing more. I cannot deny that I enjoy his company and am happy around him. And to tell the truth, I do find myself just staring at him in awe. I do not really know how to describe it but it is that moment when you catch yourself staring at someone and going wow. The emoji with the two heart shaped eyes would best describe that feeling. He is not particularly good looking of anything so I have no idea why I catch myself doing that. Then again, I really cannot see the both of us going far. And I am not willing to risk losing a great friend because of a failed relationship. That happened one too many times already.

How is it possible for one to like two people at a time? Something is wrong, real wrong. I am just so bothered by the fact that I am not clear of what I feel to the both individuals. Feels as though I am suck in some limbo and it really sucks. How now brown cow? (Inserts a sad face.)

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