A hundred and one times, I wanted to tell you what I have kept to myself. But each time you are no where to be found. If only you stayed a little longer, you would have known everything. But you left, before I could dig up the courage to pour out everything.
I find myself sitting on the swing night after night, looking at the night sky and wondering when I will truly be able to trust you with my secrets. When will I be able to unlock my heart and be open with you? Each time I try to force them out, the fear of being judge always gets the better of me.
Why is it that even though I am surrounded by so many people, I still feel like I doing this alone? It pisses me off how I am unable to tell anyone what really weighs on my heart. I used to be able to but betrayal and superficiality caused me to close up. How can I open up and get help before all these really eat my soul and drain me out?
“Lies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.”
~ Cassandra Clare