I cannot sleep. I feel so restless. So tired but cannot find that inner peace. Tossing and turning around for the past two hours. My heart beat quickens with each passing moment as if I am physically running. More alert than ever, I stare at the ceiling, hoping it will come crashing down on me. I just asdfghjkl (cannot even find the word to describe how I feel).
I have everything I want. I cannot ask for more. But what is the use of having it all when I am watching myself destroy everything I worked hard for bit by bit. It is as if I built myself a mansion only to drive a wrecking ball into it a week later. Everything is falling apart in front of me and I am watching them slip pass me. Back to square one.
I am falling apart. Defeat by my own mind and deeds. In all these darkest hours, I find myself fighting this internal all battle alone. I suppose they are right. You cannot rely on anyone but yourself.
“She’s dancing with strangers, she’s falling apart. Waiting for superman to pick her up in his arms.”
~ Waiting for superman (Daughtry)