Meh – just meh

If only I could find the right words to express how I feel now, that will be great. It would be great if I could accurately express everything instead of bottling up everything. Meh. Just meh.

Just one of those nights when all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry.

It has been bad enough that I failed Chemistry so badly and now this. Meh. Truth be told, I expected the bad results but it still sucks when you receive them. He once told me – you know you are falling but when you hit the ground, it still hurts. No amount of anticipation can help me deal with the disappointment.

It is not so much about the score that bothers me. I just feel like am wasting my parent’s money. Tuition these days do not come cheap and if I am not improving, why bother investing that much time and money on it. How am I going to explain myself now? No excuses. Just pure laziness and lack of hard work. Actually, this is the reason why I want to quit most of my tuition. I do need help but I do not feel that it is worth all that money. Dilemma.

And then this. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. I do not even know what to say. I am at a complete lost for words. I have never been good with words and I never will be. Sigh. Sobs. Sniff.

Why is it that the person you love the most always end up hurting you the most? Obviously, because they mean the most to you. Retarded me. Not thinking straight now. Meh.

Know what, just going to spend quality time with my bed because that is the only place I can find peace and solace. I am done.

And some nights I wish the dark nights will be longer than the day. Because sometimes dreams are better than reality.

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