What am emotional day it has been. Tying up the lose ends and opening up to new experiences.
What better way to end the day by closing the previous chapter. I finally dug out his file of letters to me and read them all. You heard me, I read them all. I know it is a rather dumb thing to do – read my ex’s letters while my boyfriend is away in holiday – but some part of me knew that I was able to handle it. And, well, I did. (Surprisingly.)
Gone are those emotional surges when I read about him. Gone are the guilt and regret I feel when I look back.
Maybe I am ready to let go of everything. Maybe I am ready to start a new chapter of my life.
Whichever the case, I know that I can look back with no regrets and only gratefulness for the times we had.
Should he ever chance upon my blog, there is just a few things I would like to say.
I am really thankful for the three years or so we spent together. It was most definitely one of the best times of my life. I am glad God made out paths cross but I suppose it is time for us to continue on our self-discovery journey separately. I hope you do not blame yourself anymore. To quote my boyfriend, “It takes two to clap.”
Reading your undelivered letters has brought back memories of good times we had. And I find it rather funny how every single letter sounds the same. Sorry but you sounded quite immature (not like I was or am anymore mature than you are but you get what I mean). But I believe you have grown to be a more understanding and matured guy now (based on what others told me about you). Nonetheless, it is good to know that I have blessed you in numerous way when we were together. Likewise, you have taught me a lot.
For now, I hope you are coping well and may you find someone else who be as big as a blessing as mine is to me. May she bring out the best in you.
Pray that you will continue to walk close to God and live under his blessing and favor.
So I guess I will see you when I see you. (Which is highly unlikely, unless you pop by next door.)
Till then, take care. God bless.