What’s the point when all we do is love under a facade. A facade of happiness to deceive others into thinking that we are all well and good.
Maybe I have gotten to used to this game of pretense that I no longer feel the need to be real. Or to be me.
Who are we trying to impress. Why are we trying so hard to make other envious.
All I want is something simple. Something low key. Just something you and me share.
On many occasions, I gave in to you. Like how I really wanted to keep you and me low profile but then it just blew up cause you will always be you. So I let it be.
I seem really loud but I am really quite shy inside. I appreciate privacy and personal space. Each time you express your love openly, I react negatively. For that, I am sorry. But sometimes, I try to play along.
Sigh. I just really meh. Cannot keep up with this. Sometimes, I really do not feel like I can rely or trust you. Other times, I am like thank God for you. Maybe my past is getting in the way. Or maybe it is you.
Either ways, I am sick of acting all fine in front of others. I am sick of saying yeah yeah I am okay because I do not want our problems to reflect badly on you. I am sick of just everything repeating over and over again.
Just in general upset that… Hai never mind. Forget it. I should learn to shut up before you start telling me I complain too much and appreciate too little.
Just fuck everything and everyone. I am going to bed.
Sometimes your dreams are really better than reality.