Messed – up life

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And then I have so much to say. Really so much to say but all at the wrong times. When I want to say, no one is here. When I don’t, everyone keeps asking why. Why can’t I just get something right for once.

Right now. I would love to pour out my heart to you. Because honestly, no matter how pissed and upset I am… I can’t stop myself from loving you.

I am so afraid of you leaving. Many have left. A few have stayed. And I hope you’ll be part of the few that didn’t leave me.

Sigh I keep regretting things I do. Yet I cannot seem to translate my inner most desires into something tangible. I tell myself to stay calm and think rationally. But my body reacts otherwise, I end up losing my cool and saying things I don’t mean. When will I be able to do what I think and think what I do (if that made sense at all).

Anyway, special thanks to those two who dropped by to watch me cry, rant, curse and just let it all out. It wasn’t much but I am thankful. Thanks for keeping my sanity in check.

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