Fucking – wake up already

Walking out of the exam hall knowing you fucked the paper up isn’t the worst feeling. The worst feeling is walking out of that hall knowing that the reason you fucked it up can be accredited the lack of hard work.

When you realise that the tears that stream down your cheeks are not ones of fear. Fear for the lack of reason or explanation for the poor performance. But rather that of disappointment. Down right disappointment because you have once again let yourself down by not trying hard enough.

I am honestly sick and tired of coming up with excuses to why I perform so badly. The fact is that I never do try hard enough. In fact, I don’t even try. If so, why do I always get so upset when I fuck my academics up?

They say – you reap what you sow. I evidently have yet to sow enough and hence all I reap is a basket full of regret and disappointment. It really is a joke how I nag at people to study and yet I myself do not put in the effort. Hypocrite. Meh.

When will I fucking wake up and realise that I only have two months left?!

When things that you pride yourself in let you down.

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