Urgh – to say the least

This family trip to Bangkok was, to say the least, painful. Or in my terms “urgh”.

Oh no don’t get me wrong Thailand is a wonderful place. Great hospitality (well apart from some cranky lady on the train but I’ll leave that for later) and really really cheap things (say for every hundred Singapore dollars I spend, I can get three times the amount I usually get in Singapore). It was the family that spoilt the trip. A overbearing father. A paranoid mother. And three kids who cannot give two shits about anything. Their constant bickering is unbearable. Oh wait, it’s MY constant bickering with my dad. So I am the bad guy again. I mean sorry man. Sorry I even bothered offering suggestions – more efficient ways of doing things perhaps. Fuck, I need to need learn how to shut up and follow suit.

First, can you fucking learn how to read the fucking brochures and menus. Open your fucking eyes and look?! You pride yourself in being observant but the truth is you really cannot be bothered. Why? Because you think you know it all. Granted, you are supposedly older and therefore have more experience but in am pretty sure the last time you were in Thailand was decades ago. Things would have changed since then so be open to learn! Well but I guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks (ops).

Second, it’s true, ask and you shall receive but can you at least fucking listen when the person is explaining? The poor guy has to reiterate himself at least five times for every question. But every question I mean literally EVERY question. You know they aren’t that proficient in English so why make life hard for them and for yourself. The more you ask the SAME question. The more he gets confused and the more you get confused. Ridiculous. Simple ask and listen. That’s all I am asking. (That also explains why I don’t even bother talking to you because you just don’t listen. And you wonder why I don’t share things with you. Joke.)

Third, stop coming up with your lame lame excuses. Your patterns are all the same and we know it. Stop using others in the family to justify your decisions. “Oh, we are going back to the hotel because your sister doesn’t want to walk anymore”. What that actually mean is – “Oh, I got what I wanted and I am contented. I don’t really care if you’re done shopping. I am tired therefore we are cabbing back instead of taking the public train as planned.” “It’s not my fault that the iPad was left behind, I passed it to your brother.” Oh come on, you were carrying it until we sat down and you left without even checking if you left anything behind. Who are you to keep nagging at us for leaving out things behind when nobody but you left your things behind (admittedly, I left my books behind somewhere.. but I went back to get it.) Just enough of your lousy crap excuses. To quote you “say what you mean, mean what you say. Just speak your bloody mind. Huge ass ego you have there. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong in admitting that you’re tired. Just saying.

Fourth, you are such a lazy pig. Who the fuck takes the hotel shuttle bus to the fucking train station that is not even five minutes away from the hotel. That’s equivalent to me wanting to be driven out of my school to the bus stop. What even. Granted, you have luggages and shopping bags. But why the fuck do you want to go through all the hassle of loading and unloading all the bags at the fucking main road (I must make a note here that the train station was next to a main road and there was no where else the shuttle bus could stop). To add on, we will still have to carry our luggages up to the station and on to the train and in the airport. What difference does a three minute ride make?! My ass barely warmed the seat and I needed to get down. This brings me to my next point.

Fifth, what the fuck, I was just suggesting. Why do you always have to say that I am so uptight and that I act smart. I may not know as much as you do but I have fucking common sense and I fucking read the instructions. The number of times I helped you order food or get into queues during this trip – uncountable. (Fuck, I don’t care if I sound arrogant but I deserve some credit.) I was just suggesting that we just walk to the train station because it makes more sense. And the other two didn’t mind. (EVEN my brother thought it was ridiculous. You have the understand that my brother is the more understanding and reasonable guy. What I call the “angel” of the family.) Just because I was the one who voiced it out I got the verbal lashing. Fuck, I was just suggesting? Fine, there were times I pushed it a little got agitated but I really do think the way you run things is really very inefficient and at times, just plain stupid.

Sixth, chill chill chill man. I hate coming on holidays with my family because I I hear is yelling. “Can you hurry up.” “We are going to be late.” “Can you just stick together.” “Can you just get into the queue.” Oh my, I am on holiday for a reason – to relax! I hate coming on holidays because it’s so stressful. Take it easy. I know you need to catch certain timings but the least you can do is inform us we have an appointment or plan at a certain time. This brings me to my next point.

Seventh, stop treating us like kids. If my sister can say that she feels like she’s being treated like a toddler that says a lot. “You just don’t know.” “Just shut up and follow.” You say we are ignorant. But do you not see that our ignorance is caused by you? You don’t bother to teach us. When we question, you just tell us to follow. You often say “Give a man a fish and he will live for a day. Teach him to fish and he will live longer.” (My apologies I forgot the last part of the quote.) But you don’t practice what you preach. Stop hindering our learning. If you don’t teach, we will never know.

Eighth, the other you needs to breathe and take it easy. Stop being so upset over small things that don’t go to plan. Just make new plans and move along. So what if you can’t find cheese the the buffet. So what if we can’t see the other mall. We can always do plan B. Sigh just stop getting so uptight and enjoy yourself.

But all that doesn’t matter anymore does it. It’s back to this wasteland. Back to reality.

When we lock everything up and swallow the key.


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